


He Lost His Soul to a Woman So Heartless

by The_Capricious_One



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Implied Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-19 07:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Capricious_One/pseuds/The_Capricious_One
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before Angel loses his soul, Buffy has a few words for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Lost His Soul to a Woman So Heartless

**Author's Note:**

> Shameless, self-indulgent crack.  
> I am ashamed to have used Kanye West lyrics. But not ashamed enough to change it.

“Angel?” Buffy mumbled into her pillow.  
“Mmm,” he replied, half-asleep. He was floating blissfully, caught in between the realm of life and the realm of Morpheus, pleasantly tired, and happier than he had been in... in... well, centuries.  
“Aren’t you supposed to be... you know... experienced?”  
“Huh?” he murmured, cracking one eye open. Buffy was propped up on her elbows-- mmm, what a view-- and looking at a spot just over his shoulder.  
“I mean... good at... having sexytimes.” She stumbled over the words, and her face tinged with the beginning of a blush.  
He furrowed his brow in confusion. “What?”  
“Well, er, it was my first time and I mean... well, you are hot-- I mean figuratively, your hands are actually pretty cold, and I admit freezing from the inside out is a new one-- um. Yeah, you’re sexy, and that’s awesome, but that was kind of... rough?”  
Both eyes were open now, and all thoughts of sleep vanished. “Buffy?”  
“I mean, yeah, I expected it to hurt, but I kinda thought you’d be gentle, right? That actually hurt, and believe me, I’m the Slayer, I have all kinds of pain tolerance. Jesus, dude.” Angel opened his mouth to object, but Buffy seemed to have gained confidence as she spoke. She was looking him in the face now, if not in the eyes, and speaking more assertively. She didn’t appear to be pausing for breath. He shut his mouth helplessly. “And the kissing was nice and all but I don’t think that really qualifies as foreplay, really. I mean, there are two people in a relationship, right? But instead it was like, a couple hot kisses, then two minutes--”  
“It was more than that,” he mumbled, redfaced.  
“--two and a half, and then, what, roll over and go to sleep? Dude, I’m right here. Still horny as hell. Hornier than hell, and considering how many demons with real goat prodders I’ve seen down there, that’s saying something--”  
Angel could feel a headache coming on. He looked on with horror as Buffy just kept going.  
  
\---an hour or so later----  
  
“--so, bottom line is that we need to teach you how to use your tongue properly,” she finished.  
Angel just stared at her. She waved a hand in front of his eyes and he didn’t blink.  
“...Right. I’ve given you a lot to process. I’m going to go check in with Giles. You know, the standard “not dead!” routine. Never gets old. I’ll check in with you later today, okay?” She gave him a peck on the cheek and left, with more dignity than a woman in underwear and one left sock should possibly be able to muster.  
Angel put his head in his hands when she closed the door, his fragile happiness shattering into a million shards of glass. His life was a lie.  
He shed many manly tears.

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler: He keeps his soul.


End file.
